Day 67 of 100

“I remember when I was no longer the youngest one.”

Ever since I was small I was the youngest person in a group. My birthday was late in the year, so everyone was a year ahead of me in school. Later on when I went to work, I was the youngest executive, manager, etc.

It continued to be the case. Until it wasn’t. I remember when I was no longer the youngest one.

When one is young and is excelling there is a belief that skill is all that is needed. I could out work anyone. I could work harder, longer, faster. I don’t know if I was the best, but I was damn near close to it.

Then the addiction hit. I don’t think I realized how much it retarded my growth until it was all over. Bad decisions followed by poor work. I could barely keep it together when I was in the midst of it all.

I remember falling asleep in a meeting with the editor of a major city newspaper, and for years afterwards he always asked one of my clients if I was still strung out. I would bet if asked today, that editor would still wonder.

Once I got sober I had so much to catch up to. The first time I got sober, I sold the company I was running as I couldn’t be part of the advertising industry any longer. I went to work at the acquirer and hit all my earn-outs in 9 months and left.

There was a time when I did pretty well working at Lijit and Graphicly, where I was able to keep my sober life in order and progress, but I was no longer the young one. There were many that had passed me by in my years of addiction.

My career stagnated a bit at Amazon, and I saw younger, hungrier go-getters pass me by. I think at the time, I was one of the three oldest on our team, but I never really wanted to admit it.

Now I am ok with being old. I no longer care if I am the best. I love what I do and the people I get to do it with every day. Being older has given me a whole new world to be part of, and frankly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.