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100facesof.me

Day 63 of 100

Black-and-white tight close-up of a bearded man's face, sweat on his forehead, eyes locked directly on camera.
Day 63 / 100 Weight 352.8 Brain fog day Sony A7R5 28mm f/4 1/500 ISO400

“I used to be an athlete”

I played sports for most of my life. Soccer when I was a kid, played football, wrestled, and swam in high school. Played lacrosse in college and club ball afterwards.

I really loved playing sports.

But that is all behind me.

My form and technique is so bad in the various things I did, I just can’t handle even doing them badly. It drives me nuts that I have let myself go as far as I have.

I get it, we all get older and slower. And I do have nerve issues from the Lyme disease, but that doesn’t mean I have to hate on myself for not playing sports any longer.

That’s it, I think. A few years ago I realized that I no longer had the physical characteristics to play sports any longer.

I still move my body almost every day. I even sweat. Sometimes a lot. And I enjoy moving my body. It just doesn’t move the way I would like it to anymore.

And, it turns out, that is okay.

We age. Our bodies slow down. Every year I get older, I realize that fact more and more. Now, I have to play life smarter, I can’t just power through. My speed has been replaced with thoughtfulness, my power with acceptance.

But I used to be an athlete. And I loved it.